Independent!

This world we live in has become a little too comfortable with divorce. One problem with divorce, besides the fact you are no longer with the one you love, thought you loved, or were even pressured to be with, is that there are too many people that don't know how to support themselves. They aren't as independent as they thought. We typically see this with women, but men have the same problem. This also applies to any relationship in general. Sometimes we take our partner, boyfriend or girlfriend for granted and try to convince ourselves that they will never leave. The truth is, whether they leave or not, we still need to gain our independence. We can't always rely on other people. If we did that, we would get nowhere. We would have other people doing the work for us and we would have no pride in the things we do or the things we earn for ourselves. In an honest opinion, I believe that is part of how the abusive relationships start. The reason I say this, is because once the other person knows how much we depend on them, they begin to realize that they can make you do anything. Ladies, please don't let your husbands, boyfriends, or even guy friends take advantage of you like that. Stand up for yourself. Become independent and let them know that they cannot take away your freedom. Gentlemen, it is good to be attached to a woman and love her. But be sure that you can support yourself if anything does happen. It is crucial that we find ways to be independent. Especially in the place we call "home".

In closing, I would just like to share this quote by Toba Beta. "“Man will never be stronger nor independent if he lives under perpetual motivation of others.”

I hope everyone can learn to be independent because I know you have the potential to do great things. But I also caution you. If you become to independent, you may get to the point where you push your friends away. Maybe even know that you need help, but not ask for it. Please recognize those times and accept the help that is being offered. It's not a bad thing to ask for help as long as you are willing to accept it.

You Are Not Alone

If you look around the world, you may notice that a lot of people are becoming more and more depressed. Some of this depression is triggered by financial problems, relationship problems, abuse, and some are simply because they don't feel that they fit in. The people that suffer from depression, often try and find a release for that stress. Unfortunately, some of these "solutions" are very dangerous. Cutting and suicide are some of the more serious ones. And, although solitude seems great, it does the same amount of harm. People who have depression may think that they are alone, and that the only thing left to do is harm themselves. This is not true, though. It is important for those with this mindset to realize that there are better, more effective solutions to getting rid of your depression. Let them know they can turn to you and let them know you will be waiting, arms wide open, and ready to help. Reassurance is a priceless gift to someone who needs your comfort.

"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain."

This is a quote by Kahlil Gibran that I found very inspirational. All we need to do, is give hope to those who have even the slightest hint of depression. It is always important to be there for them. To help them realize that they have so much to live for, and by doing the things that they could be doing to harm themselves, it is not making their situation any better. They need to know that they are so much more than they give themselves credit for. We can never leave those people alone because if we do, things may go to far, and our help is no longer effective. Show them the love that they need.

When Drinks Consume You

During my long and full 17 years, 51 weeks, and 6 days of life, I have seen many situations where people have had a strong addiction to alcohol. Not only is it not healthy, but it is also sad. Many people who are addicted to alcohol often cannot see that it is harmful to them, until it's too late. Plus, it not only affects the person, but it affects the people they know, people around them, and people that they don't even know. What they don't know, is that while they are drinking, life is slipping by them. They are so obsessed with their alcohol and feel that they need it so badly, that they forget what is really important. They waste their money for a temporary "happiness, when they could be saving to get a better job, or to support their family.

"If you need an excuse for why you don't drink alcohol, you could say that addiction runs in your family and you don't want to try it even once because you may not stop until you are dead in a puddle of your own vomit or smashed into the side of a mini-van with children's body parts scattered around your corpse."

~Duane Alan Hahn

Although this seems grotesque and hard to think about, these are real live situations that happen to thousands of people every day. This is the cold hard truth. The Japanese Proverbs states, "First the man takes a drink; then the drink takes a drink; then the drink takes the man." I believe this to be true because a lot of the time, it only takes one. One sluff. One cigarette. One drink. That's all it takes for everything to change in the blink of an eye.

Fun without challenge, without inner satisfaction, often comes from surrogate motivators influencing one's actions and perceptions. More often than not, something like this is considered "fun" because it is a lack of "pain", be it social, physical, or psychological pain. For example, if you are programmed with social expectations that drinking and partying are key steps in securing one's self-worth, and that not having a bar life makes one lame and unaccepted, then one can squander away much of life in a drunken stupor, blissfully thinking all is fun with this programmed lifestyle.

~Montalk

P.S. I love you, Uncle Jason. Please think about life and how you can better yourself. And always remember, I love you and so do a lot of people.

Live Life To The Fullest

When making certain decisions, people often refer to the saying, "you only live once..." What they do not look at is the last part: "...but if you do it right, once is enough." (Quote by Mae West) Throughout my years in school, I have heard this quote spoken when people are talking about whether or not to have sex or do some other crazy thing. In order to live a full life, you have to do the things that you won't feel guilty admitting to someone you look up to or someone you are trying to impress. It' good to do crazy things, but not things you can possibly get in trouble for doing. If you live your life to the fullest, you should have no regrets. You should be happy with how your life went, and not just satisfied that it wasn't horrible. I recently found a quote by Oscar Wilde that says, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."  I believe this to be true because you can either do what you have to to get by, or you can take the high road and make it worth your while. You have to live life to some extent anyway, so why not make it amazing in the process?

Albert Einstein once said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." This quote is similar to the one about looking at the glass as half full, instead of half empty. Be positive because it makes life more fun and exciting. Plus, it is easier to be happy when you are positive instead of down and pessimistic. Try to not take things for granted. Be grateful for what you have.

Many people associate wealth with money, and not with life. Living life to the fullest is a great way to show you're wealthy. Life is not always about being a millionaire or becoming the next top model. It is about doing what makes you happy and being all that you want to be. That is what will make you the richest person in the world, even if you only have one penny to your name.

You Are You For A Reason

In nature, when an animal is skinny and frail, we see it as sick.It doesn't seem to have the muscle and strength that it needs to survive in this dog-eat-dog world. If this is true, then why does the majority of the human population believe that it is attractive? Why is it any different from the animals' situation? The problem is, the world has created an image of the perfect person: skinny, luscious hair, clear skin, perfect nose and eyes. Not everyone can look like this. Each person is the way they are for a reason. If we all looked like that girl on the front of the Cover Girl, or the guy in the Rolling Stones magazine, we would all look the same. There would be no way to tell us apart from one another. When some people make themselves as skinny as those models, they become sick and frail. Only when it becomes serious do we realize that it is not good for us. Yes, it is good to be fit and in shape, but it's not good to obsess over something as dumb as weight. Ladies, you are meant to have a body that is durable enough to give birth to a child. It is not there for you to change it dramatically. It is actually healthy to allow yourself to have a little body fat, believe it or not. You have a purpose in life. Your body will help you with the things you need to get done. Take care of your body and don't abuse it.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a ride!!"

This is a quote i found in a magazine once. This is the way we should live life. We shouldn't be worrying about weight or whether or not we look like a model. Enjoy your life and only please yourself with your appearance. You and your happiness are way more important than the opinion of those who are uneducated in true beauty.

"Do you want a REAL Woman or an EMPTY Shell? Beauty only goes so deep when that is gone what is left?!" ~Susan

*Note: This post had some input from Susan Wright. Thank you! And thanks for the pic;)*

Cheater, Cheater

"You said you loved her. Was it just an act? Are you just too afraid to face the facts? She was perfect, too perfect for you, and you decided you needed someone new. You knew what you were doing all along. How could you be satisfied with something so wrong? She loved you and you threw her to the ground. Do you even know how stupid you sound when you tell those lies and not feel bad? You really don't know what you had. She's gone now and she's not coming back. You better hope this makes up for the things she lacks. She's moved on and you're left behind to live with the guilt for the rest of your life." ~Me

I know a lot of people who have been cheated on. It's nothing fun to deal with. The person that was cheated on usually ends up thinking, "what did I do wrong?" The important thing to know is that if you are a victim of this heart-breaking action, it is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. They just do not know that what they have to begin with is something special. There should be no reason to cheat. If you don't like the person like you thought, break it off. It hurts worse when someone cheats on you than it does to break it off before it starts. Take into consideration that people are sensitive and want to be loved and accepted. It's hard to feel that love and acceptance when the other person doesn't think you are worth their time.

Grandpa Duane Burge

"I looked at you- my eyes soft and full of care. I saw your body but your spirit was not there. It was roaming around, happy and care free. I know you were finally happy because I could feel you around me. You lived a great life and it was time to let go so you could be with the ones you did so carefully know. I will always remember you and the good times we had, the way you made me smile, and how you never seemed sad. It brings tears to my eyes because you aren't physically here, but I know you are home now. Ill hold your mem'ries near." - Me

This poem goes out to my Grandfather, Duane Burge, who passed away on July 3, 2011 at 2:00 am.

As i watched my grandfather lay in bed, I realized that this was no life to live. He would not be able to be the way he was if he were to get better because he had so many complications with his heart and his health in general. A few family members had said that they think his spirit left his body at some point when his body was shutting down. One thing that made it a little easier when i heard that, was knowing he wasn't in pain. His spirit wasn't obligated to stay and suffer through the pain that could have been present as his body tried healing itself. There was no need to remain in a situation like that.
My grandfather was truly a great man. From his leather working skills, to having the drive it took to obtain more knowledge about his favorite hobbies and dreams, to watching his grandchildren grow up, he certainly had the patience it took to do all these things. He had the motivation to teach his children and grandchildren the right way to live. He showed everyone that he could be there for them when in time of need. He was not hesitant to buy anything for his family if they could not afford it. He was the type of person that you could count on and know that he will take care of it. He had the best sense of humor and he knew how to be sarcastic, as most of the family is. He also knew how to be serious and still have that caring side to him. He was the first to jump with someone was in trouble. He had a brother and sisters who adored him. His crazy stories about his life made you eager to hear more. He would make dinosaur shaped pancakes for the kids who chose to stay the night. And best of all, my Grandpa Burge was the perfect match to my Grandma Cheryl. They completed each other. They were the perfect couple.

After staying by his side through his last moments, I knew that my life was blessed to have even known him. He made a great impact on many people. He is someone I can definitely look up to. It is astounding to know that life can change in the blink of an eye. Even though we do not want to think the worst when something happens, it is best to know that what is happening was supposed to happen. Some people call it fate, and others call it God's will. Which ever you prefer, just know that things will work out. Although it is hard to let go of a loved one, it's something everyone has to do at one point. However, we do not have to do this alone. We always have family, friends, neighbors, and most importantly, Heavenly Father. We are never alone no matter what. He will help us to let go of them because we will see them in heaven. Life on earth is but a short moment when compared to all eternity we get to spend with our loved ones in heaven.

**As I close this blog, I just wanted to say, I love you and miss you Grandpa! Everyone does! <3**

Love

GOODBYE

Why did you have to break my heart? You said you loved me, but i guess not. You moved on so fast and left be behind. You confused me, not only my heart, but my mind. I sit in my room and wonder what i did wrong, when really i should wonder why i was with you so long. I cried and wasted too many tears on you. Its hard to believe I actually loved you. All i wanted was someone to call mine, but you lost interest and that was a big sign. A sign that this relationship needed to end. A sign that my heart would take a while to mend. So i say goodbye to you for disregarding my feelings that used to be true.

This was a poem i wrote a while ago about a past relationship. It is interesting to look back and try to remember if it was REAL love or something that was portrayed to be love. The problem with love that it takes time to form properly. Jumping into a relationship and immediately saying "I love you" is not necessarily real. Sadly, "love" is thrown around more and more. These days, love doesn't mean what it used to. Now, love is related to sex with most people. They think that if they do those things that it is real, true love. It's not. 

Don't dwell on the past, because you can't change it. Let yourself move on from those things. If you are hung up on the past, it can be harmful to any future relationships you may have. Say goodbye to them. Try not to mistake true love for something that is a temporary feeling or want.

Memorial Day

In honor of this up coming holiday, I decided to make a post. When I was little, my dad told me that if I should see a soldier in uniform at the store or anywhere else, it is always nice to shake hands with them and thank them for all they have done. I try to do that, even today, because if they didn't fight for us to be safe and free, we wouldn't be in the position we are in now. Because of them, we don't have to live in the dangerous situations that they have to live in on a daily basis during times of war. I invite you to thank them with me. I just want to thank all the soldiers for helping with the capture of Osama. I want to thank them for helping with all the other dictators, and especially for helping to keep us free. It most certainly cannot be easy to go into a battle zone where you don't know if you will die or when you will die. So, thank you!

And may those soldiers that did die for us rest in peace. May God bless those families and friends, as well.

Cancer

Recently I found out the mother of one of my friends has been diagnosed with brain cancer. He told me he doesn't know what to do now. It kind of brought tears to my eyes because I thought about what I would do if I ever lost my mom to cancer at my age. It goes back to the saying, "You don't know what you have till it's gone." A lot of the time, we forget that uncle that doesn't talk to the family anymore or the brother we used to be in touch with. If they die from cancer or some other disease, we usually regret not helping them with the things they need help with and we regret not spending enough time with them. It would be a good idea to spend as much time with loved ones as possible. Encourage them not to smoke or drink because these are especially dangerous. Show them your support and that you are there for them. They need to feel that love. <3


P.S.....
**Love you Grandma Cheryl and Aunt Ginger**

Make a Change

Make a Change by Michael Jackson is a very true song. Its amazing to think about all the people that try and blame others for the problems they are having, when in reality, they are their own problem. It is important to take pride in yourself and know that you can always feel good about yourself no matter what. If you don't like something, change it. Your fate is in your own hands and only you can change it. You just need to be WILLING to change those things. Try starting with "the man (or woman) in the morror" and don't try and tackle the world all at once. Also, be grateful for what you have. There are some people who have nothing. For you to be unhappy with all you have that others don't may be a selfish thing. Rmember, you have the power to make this world a better place and to do things that may be huge jump for you. Just look to yourself and believe that you can do it. Chances are, people feel the same way and may be able to help you! *Check the song out if you haven't heard it!*

Temporary Satisfaction

It is crazy to think that there are so many temptations in this world. Violence, drugs, alcohol, sex... Its amazing what we do just to satisfy a temporary "need". Little do we know, these things are killing us emotionally, socially, and even physically. This world is changing so quickly. It is hard to say no these days because "everyone is doing it" and "I dont want to be an out-cast". Where is our self control when we need it? It's burried under our obsessions of worldly objects. Stay true to you and who you are.

Mother's Day

Since it is almost Mother's Day, I have decided to make a post dedicated to all mothers, incliding my mom. In my opinion, my mother is one of the best out there. I love my mom. I am grateful for her because without her, my life would have fallen apart from the beginning. I don't know what I would ever do without her. I hope everyone feels the same way I do. I feel sorry for those people who have no mother figure in their life. Basically, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all the mothers out there because without them, we wouldn't be here! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS IN THE WORLD!!!!!
With love, Me

Grudge

Why do we bother holding a grudges? Its just poisoning our souls. Like being tortured and it is or lives that it dulls. Sending us into great sadness and sucking us into eternal madness. When we forgive life flows like a song then suddenly it doesn't feel all wrong.

It is truly sad when a person chooses to be mad and hold a grudge. It is slowly killing us and draining our energy because we put all our focus on that one negative thing. By doing this, we usually end up pushing someone away, whether it be family, friends, or future acquaintances.

I Am Here

Thinking about you, wondering how you are. Knowing that the distance between us is far. I know I can be there soon if you'd just call. Trust me and know that I will never let you fall. I'll be by your side forever I'm always here. There isn't a need to shed a tear. I'll hold you tight and fight for you. There are so many things for you I would do. When you make up your mind i'll be waiting, arms wide open, soft, loving, and kind.

It's hard to give up a relationship when you still really like, or love, a person. Even though you want so badly to get them back, there is nothing that you can do to change their mind. The only thing left to do is wait and see what happens. Just don't give up hope, though. They may need you one day.

Rainy Day

As i stare out the window, my breath fogs up the glass. Many thoughts surround me as they whisper things from my past. Fidgeting with my fingers as my thoughts grow immense. My breath quickens and my body feels tense. Tears fill my eyes to where i cannot see. It feels like a rainy day- down and unhappy.

I know everyone has those days where they are just depressed- man or woman. Its comforting to find something that can somewhat describe the way you feel. Especially when you just have no words to say, and the many thoughts that surround you seem overwhelming.

Searching

Searching for answers To questions I’ve had Looking deep inside But finding nothing. Though the answers Are right in front of me, I see anything but that. Creating fears of situations That seem never ending. Things just aren’t easy to see. When you are blinded by the world And its ability to mask the truth. You want more than anything To find what you are looking for. So the questions becomes
What do I do now?

This is a poem i wrote a while ago. It was trying to find an answer to a problem and i just couldn't think clearly. I believe that we all have these moments, some more immense than others. It is just a matter of listening and opening your eyes to see what is in front of you. Asking for help works too!

Fighting

Fighting; it breaks up something that is meant to be together forever. Getting back to the happiness after all is said and done is hard. The disputes between those you love only make you wish you could stop it all right then. But you can't. All you can do is persuade them that the other is just as vulnerable and scared for what will happen if we let our guard down.

This is something I wrote from Facebook, but I find that it has a lot of truth. Fighting really does have an impact on your life and others' lives as well. Its contagious and is hard to stop. Its nothing to be proud of.

Questions, Questions, Questions...

People often say that you don't know what you have until its gone. What would you DO to get it back? Would you apologize for the things you said and did? What would you GIVE to get it back? The last piece of gum? The expensive technology you own? The last swig alcohol? Or even your life? Find whats important to you. Cherish it. Love it. Be proud of it. It may be taken away before you know it.

Down Syndrome Role-model

One thing i have realized recently is that the way we look at life is very different from that of a person with special qualities, such as down syndrome. They generally have an impressively positive outlook on life. They don't beat themselves up, like most of us, about the way they look or how everyone else sees them. What amazes me about these people, is that they are friendly and happy more often than not. They find the good on everyone and they are so kind that they wouldn't even hurt a fly. I had a conversation with Mandy Burge about this topic. She said, "We call ourselves "normal" when we are the ones so quick to judge. But who is really the one with the disadvantage, or disability, when we cant even think positively. We consider them "different" because we have one less chromosome than they do. In reality, they are like the perfect role-model." I thought this was a good way to sum up some loose ends on my thoughts. This is a very admirable group of people to me.

Several people have influenced this post. My Aunt Rhonda, who lived until she was 50, Lauren, a girl at Copper Hills, and a beautiful baby named Abby (as seen in photo).